Almost a Week in Photos: 4/14 - 4/19

There was a lot of beautiful weather in the past week and I did my best to document it.

This is my Dad at breakfast in Oscar's in Westport.
Breakfast is his favorite meal of the day.

This photo was taken from my car on the first real topdown day.
It was fantastic!

Zoe on a bunk at her sleep away camp.
We went for an open house and as expected, she love it!

This is a jade plant that is on my desk.  It has been growing a lot so
I wanted to take a photo to compare in a few months.

This is the view from my office window on an incredible day.
It was really hard to stay inside and work on this day.

A cool sunset.  The photo doesn't do it justice, but it was amazing.

Zoe trying fly fishing at softball practice.  What??
There was a guy practicing his technique when we arrived at the
field and he let Zoe give it a go.

A Night without Zoe

Zoe is on school vacation this week and because I have to work this week and my options for childcare are limited, my sister-in-law graciously agreed to have Zoe sleepover Sunday night to Monday and bring her home Monday night. When we got home from dropping her off on Sunday night both Rob and my mother were complaining about missing Zoe already. I know some of it was exaggerated for fun, but I still got the real sense that they were truly missing Zoe after only a couple of hours and what would really amount to one missed bed time and one missed morning with her. I have to report honestly that I didn’t feel the same.


This immediately made me feel like a bad mother. After all, if her father and her grandmother were missing Zoe so much, shouldn’t I be missing her too? Do I not love her enough?

I mulled it over for awhile and the realization I came to is this: Zoe’s being gone for a night was a break for me and only me. The only thing truly different for Rob and Mom was that she wasn’t around. Of course I love having Zoe around. I do everything for her. And right there is the crux of the issue. I do everything. Yes, Rob helps and my mother helps – a lot, but I am the one who is truly responsible for all her comings and goings, her needs, her schedule, her clothes, her everything.

So, while Rob and Mom continued to complain about missing Zoe, I erased the bad mommy thoughts and went to bed with a smile on my face. I was able to go to bed when I wanted, set my alarm for later, get up and shower and leave for work when I was ready and I was quite relaxed about all of it. Zoe safely returned to us on Monday night and all was well. She had a terrific time with her cousins and her aunt and uncle, and I too, had a brief holiday.

Title Nine Indeed

Softball season for Zoe started up this week and it really got me thinking.

I never played softball.  I never played any sports really.  OK I swam when I was younger, but if you blinked, you might have missed my high school career.  As a young girl I took ballet, but it wasn't strange that I didn't do any other sports when I was older.  None of my friends played sports.  There were some "jock" girls in high school that impressed/scared the hell out of me, but I never even considered I could actually play any of the sports they played.

These days girls can play every sport under the sun and in most cases it seems like our local high school has a team for it.  In elementary schools girls can start playing soccer, basketball, softball and lacrosse through the town leagues.  That did not exist at all when I was a kid.  To be clear these girls on the teams are all kinds of girls -- from the kind that wear pink and hang up Justin Bieber posters to the kind that wear their brother's clothes -- not just the "jocks."  It seems like most girls play at least one sport.

I think because it is something that was so completely incomprehensible to me at her age it gives me a real thrill to see Zoe out there playing basketball, field hockey, softball and even just tag with her friends.  She looks so confident and natural out on the field/court/playground.  I love seeing her in a uniform all sweaty and involved in the game and then smiling and laughing with her friends.  I love how she feels about playing games or sports.  I'm jealous of all that physical confidence and I hope it lasts her entire life.

What are you saying?

I spend a lot of time in meetings and there's nothing like a meeting to bring out the jargon, metaphors, and cliches.  These all make me cringe, but nothing is more painful to me than when these things are misspoken.  So, I thought I would share the joy with a few of my recent favorites:

• When the devil gets into the details
• Follow on
• I'm being tongue in cheek
• Planful (this is an actual word, but it is an awful word)
• The Ask is that your team... (what they mean is "request")
• Moving the bar
• On-boarding
• On a go-forward basis
• Collab (because it is hard to say collaboration)
• Dial in (used in place of phone number)

I know I am not the only one who suffers actual pain from these kinds of things.  After all there are many, many websites dedicated to corporate bingo.  Please share some of your favorites.

TV in Bed

In case I haven't mentioned it I've been working on a mega project. It is exciting to be project managing the biggest project I've ever worked on, but it is fairly all-consuming too. I've been working long, rather intense hours and I am exhausted at the end of most weeks. As a result I have found that around 2 or 3pm every Saturday and Sunday I crave lying in bed and watching TV. And a lot of times I actually manage to get there.

It feels ridiculously and deliciously indulgent to crawl under the covers on a Saturday afternoon. It also feels kind of selfish and counter to my normal approach to weekends. Generally I've always preferred cramming my weekends with every possible activity, but now I find myself weighing potential plans against lying in bed and watching my TV. Activity or something Zoe needs? Of course I'll go. Dinner with friends and opening weekend of the Hunger Games? Yes, certainly worth getting out bed for. High school version of Beauty and the Beast? Not so much. 30% off at Banana Republic? I'm on the fence. Really.

Not sure if this craving will continue after this project is completed, but for now I'm going with it rather than fighting it. And in a way I hope I do continue the indulgence once in awhile.

A Decade of Zoe

In honor of Zoe's 10th birthday, I've decided to post 10 pictures of Zoe from her first year.  (Mostly because I couldn't choose only one.)

That might be more than 10, I lost count.

But can you believe that baby turned into this girl?

HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY ZOE!

Eleven Questions Meme Part 2

As a follow up to the Queen's Eleven Questions, I was tagged with these Eleven Questions by Ms. Musings.  As before, I am not fully following the rules but here are my answers anyway.

1.  How do you mark the end of the week and the beginning of the weekend?
These days it is when I shut down my PC and put it away in its case.  That is my signal that unless something dire happens, I am off duty until Monday morning.

2.  What is your idea of luxury?
Hotel living.  Has to be a nice hotel, of course, with a real down comforter and a nice bathroom.  What's more luxurious than not having to pick up after yourself, having food of your choosing brought to you, throwing your dirty towels on the floor, or fancy soaps in the bathroom?  A nice hotel can feel downright decadent.

3. Tell me a book, a drink and a food that all complement each other.
Fluffy novel and candy.  Water to drink if you must.

4. What is one thing you love about the house (flat, apartment, yurt, whatever) you live in, and one thing you would change?
I love the location of my house.  I chose my house because of it.  Walk to town, walk to the beach, walk to the train.  Close drive to everything else.  For me, that is perfect.  However, I would change the number of bathrooms by adding a master bath.  I would really, really love to have a master bath (en suite of course).

5. What is something about yourself that you have made peace with?
I really enjoy chick lit/romance novels.  For a long time it was like a dirty little secret, but now I'm out in the open and happy about it.  If you're judging me by what a read, so be it.  I don't think anyone is doing that though.

6. If you’re browsing in a real world bookshop, what will make you pick up a book that you’ve never heard of by an author you aren’t familiar with?
The cover.  I do tend to judge that first.  An attractive cover (that is not part of a woman's body with no head) draws me in every time.

7. If you could (or do) have it your own way, what’s your decorating style? (Plain, floral, girly, austere, classic…?)
Contemporary with a touch of whimsy, but only a few tchotchkes.  I share the decorating at my house with my mother.  Her tastes are more mid-century modern with a nod towards antiques and tchotchkes.  Our tastes mesh well, I think.  Neither of us are very girly or floral and we both love the color red.  If you've been to my house, you've seen that.

8. What never fails to cheer you up?
A candy store, going to the movies, planning a vacation and most of all, Zoe's laugh.

9. What are you going to do when you retire that you don’t have time for now?
Read, go to the movies, go to the theater, go to museums, bake, and drawing/painting.  I do some of these things now, but not nearly as much as I'd like.  Especially the last three items.  I find it very hard to make the time for those things while working and raising Zoe.  I often wonder what I will have time for when Zoe is at college, but I don't like thinking to hard about that either.

10. Given the chance, which house in literature would you move into, and why?
Pemberly?  No, that might be a bit too grand for me.  OK, I'll take Tinker Grey's NYC apartment in Rules of Civilty.

11. What don’t you wear, not because it doesn’t suit you, but because you don’t think you’re the type of person who wears that style/colour/a poncho?
Floral prints.  I never wear them.  I've made occasional exceptions for truly abstracted florals, but anything truly floral you would never find in my wardrobe.

Eleven Questions Meme part 1

The Queen decreed that I should participate in this meme and who am I to refuse?


Here are the rules:

1. Post the rules
2. Answer the eleven questions that were asked of you by the person who tagged you
3. Make up eleven new questions and tag eleven new people to do the meme
4. Let them know you tagged them

And here are the Queen's 11 Questions:


1. Have you ever liked a movie more than the book? If so, what movie(s)?
That doesn't happen very often, but I will say most recently it happened with Hugo.  Admittedly the book was for children, but even so, it was quite good.  However, the movie was spectacular.  It was my pick for the best picture Oscar (although I knew The Artist would win).


2.  Um opening for Oh I don't know.  I don't go to concerts.  Never went to many as a kid.  I did see New Order a lot, but I can't honestly say seeing them again would be my dream.  I guess I'd like to see the Beatles, but I would hate all that screaming.  Concerts tend to make me claustrophobic.  So really any good singer-songwriter like Amos Lee or Adele or the like in a very small venue with a very small audience  would be a dream concert. Fill in the blanks. (You can fill them in with performers dead or alive.)


3. If you're making dinner and don't need to take into account anyone else's tastes but your own, what do you find yourself having over and over again?  
Grilled cheese on sliced sourdough bread with apple slices on the side and a good book to read while I'm eating.


4. You get to interview the author of the book you are reading right now. What's the first question you'd ask?
I am currently reading After the Party by Lisa Jewell so I think I would ask Ms. Jewell where she came up with the idea for her previous book, The Making of Us.  (BTW, I just ready Ms. Musing's reply to this question and I bow to her literary supremacy.  My goodness that woman knows her stuff.  I'm just her fluffy-headed friend.)


5. If the world becomes one in which all new novels are only published in digital format, what will you miss most?
Browsing shelves of new books in bookstores.


6. If you had been gifted to play any musical instrument brilliantly, what would you choose to play? (Or maybe you are so-gifted. If so, what do you play?)
I am rather un-gifted in the musical arena, but if I were to be gifted, I would want to be a singer.  I was in the chorus all through school and I truly love to sing.  I just wish I had a good voice.  


7. The "war between the sexes" has been around since the beginning of time. What do you think is the biggest problem between the sexes today?
The biggest problem is any notion that equality has been achieved.  It has not.  Just because women are in the workplace and women are leaders in government and some men stay at home with their kids, does not for one second mean that we have achieved equality.  Women CEOs are still called that, same with Women Senators, and even Women Athletes.  As a woman working in the corporate world, it is something you think about all the time.  


8. If you could switch places with any celebrity for three months, with whom would you like to switch places?
Florence Welch of Florence + the Machine.  If I was going to be any kind of celebrity it would have to be a musician, preferably a rock star.  Rock stars can be fashionable, or not.  They can be political, or not.  They tour, they go on TV, they often make it into movies.  And if they f up, people cut them slack, because, hey, its rock and roll.


9. You can eat at any restaurant in the world. Where would you eat?
That's a tough one.  I'm not much of a foodie, but I do like a nice dining experience and atmostphere.  My favorite thing is to eat outside so, right now, I think I'd choose the outdoor shack on the beach at the hotel in Aruba where I spent my honeymoon.  


10. What book do you wish you hadn't wasted your time reading last year?
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake.  Great concept, terrible execution.  A complete disappointment.


11. Would you like me to answer all these questions myself?
Obviously.


OK, don't tell the Queen, but I am going to break the rules.  I have already been tagged with another eleven questions which I am happy to do, but I can't come up with yet another eleven and there's no one left for me to tag.  So, I'm taking a chance and breaking the chain.  Please forgive me.

A week in photos: 2/17 - 2/23

The week before last I had the idea that I would try to take at least one picture every day and then once a week post the pictures with captions explaining why I took the pictures.  I carry my phone with me everywhere I go so it should be pretty easy.  I know this isn't a radical new idea and that there are whole sites devoted to this kind of thing, but even so, I thought it would be fun.  I was almost successful with this last week.

So here is a week in (iPhone) pictures February 17 to 23:

Friday 2/17:  This was taken in Grand Central Station while I was waiting for Emily to arrive.  That was a truly fabulous day!

Saturday 2/18:  This is my nephew's birthday cake made by my brother and sister-in-law.  I posted a picture of it on Facebook and people said it reminded them of the old MTV ads.  I can hear the music in my head now...

Sunday & Monday 2/19 & 2/20:  I spent a lot of time lolling in bed this long weekend.  It was lovely.

Tuesday 2/21:  Tuesday it was back to work after a four day weekend.  It was rough to get back and especially when my view was of the water and yachts.

Wednesday 2/22:  This is the view from my office.  I love it on a sunny day.

Thursday 2/23:  This is my car thermometer.  It was so warm that I didn't even need a coat.  Given that the average temperature in CT in February is closer to half that, I'd say this day was remarkable.  Oh and you can see my cute new iPhone case in the rearview mirror.

Ima.com

Zoe calls my mother Ima.  All my mom's grandchildren call her Ima.  Zoe was the first and that was how she said "Grandma" when she was a year old.  Ima just stuck.  Over the years we've learned that the name we thought was so unique is actually the Hebrew word for mother and that lots of people use it for both their Mom and their Grandma.  To me, it will always be a Zoe invention though.  Kind of like "milky bop" for her bottle.

Tonight at dinner we somehow got on the subject of the book "Watership Down" (no idea why) and I suggested that Zoe might like to read it.  My mom told Zoe that it was a parable.  Zoe then asked what a parable was and my mom told her to go look it up on her iPad.  Zoe said, "Why should I look it up on my iPad when I can just go to Ima.com?  She knows."  We got a good giggle out of that because anyone who knows my mom knows she could have a site called Ima.com that had the answers to stuff like that as well as figuring out the square root of 324.  (The answer is 18, by the way.)

Of course I had to then go and google ima.com, but unfortunately the URL is already being used here.  However, the google results for "Ima" did turn up some interesting results including the Indianapolis Museum of Art and even more fitting, Institute for Mathematics and its Applications.

Tuesday Shoesday: Color Blocking

It has been too long since I've done a shoe post!

These days I'm really liking the color blocking I'm seeing in lots of places.  I think it looks cool on some of the clothes I've seen, but really hard to wear well.  Instead (and not surprisingly) I prefer this look in shoes.

Here are some of my favorites:

These Steve Madden wedges use a fantastic color palette, but they look
a bit hard to walk in with that high platform.

These are from Banana Republic and look like a perfect choice for work.
Too bad they are sold out already!

And I can't leave out Kate Spade who does it brilliantly and incredibly wearable.
These are on my spring wish list!

What shoes are you thinking of for spring?

It's good to be Zoe

I think that if I am every reincarnated, I want to come back as Zoe.  She has a truly ideal life.  Let me give you an example of what I mean by giving you her detailed weekend activities:

Saturday:

• 9am Basketball game attended by Rob, Ima (aka Marcy's Mom), and me.  They didn't win the game, but it was a well-played game.  Her best friend is on her team so they got to hang out as well.  
• Doughnuts immediately after the game supplied thoughtfully by the coaches since it was the last game of the season.
• 12:30 go to her cousin's birthday party.  She may have been the oldest kid there, but it did not stop her from running around and having a great time.  Cake, goody bag, etc.
• 4pm we dropped her off at my Dad's so she could go ice skating and then to dinner with him.
• Dinner was followed up with frozen yogurt.

Sunday:

• Sleep late
• Go out shopping with me for a birthday present for another cousin and leave the store with new jeans, new t-shirt, and a (very pretty!) dress for a wedding we are attending in June. 
• Go out to lunch with Rob and me.
• Spend afternoon playing Poptropica (her favorite video game)
• Going to see the movie Hugo tonight.

I'm afraid I've spoiled her completely rotten.  The upside is that when you ask her, she freely admits she has a great life.  At least for now.  I know when she turns 13 or so, she'll no longer agree, but let's hope by 23 she remembers all this great stuff.  

Someday

Today I had a meeting with a senior executive in my company. It wasn't me alone, but a few of us went into the NYC office for the meeting. The senior executive was a woman and as it turned out she and I were the only women in the room. Of course that is not unusual for me especially since I work in IT, but today I noticed. Maybe because the woman exec is so senior in my company. I know I am certainly impressed by her. Everyone (or at least every woman working in corporate America) knows that the higher up the chain you go, the fewer women you see.

Sometime after the meeting a colleague and I knocked on her office door to ask a few follow up questions and I have to admit that I didn't necessarily hear everything that was said because I was completely wowed by this woman's office. It was a nice size and certainly well-appointed, but the thing that made it so amazing was the fact that two of the walls were floor to ceiling windows that faced west and north from the 25th floor in the heart of Times Square. You could see west all the way to the Hudson and there was a perfect view of all the jumbotrons and other enormous signs and lights that make Times Square what it is. Now this is an office, I was thinking to myself. This is an office I could aspire to.

So often I feel the challenges of being a woman in the corporate world. I've been held back and insulted and any one of a number things that don't happen to men. Rarely do I feel empowered as a woman and rarely do I feel I have the same chance for promotion and success as a man. But as we were walking out of her office and I glanced back at the view I thought, someday. Someday I think I'd like that. And it might just happen.

Something happens to girls in 4th grade

That is what Zoe's teacher told me the other day when I went in to meet with her about Zoe's homework.  She said, "Something happens to girls in 4th grade.  They get cool."

Oy.

This has been coming on gradually, but it came to a head the other day when I realized that Zoe did not bring her homework home for the third time in a row.  Boy was she in trouble!  She ended up with no TV for a week and I paid a visit to her teacher to discuss her "problem."  We set some new homework rules and now that Zoe knows she's being monitored more carefully she is back to being a good homework doer.  It was a mini-crisis for certain, but that sentence won't leave me.  Something happens to girls in 4th grade...  What's going to happen to my little Moodgie?  Is she going to be too cool to be called Moodgie?  Does that explain the recent difficulties with picking out clothes in the morning and changing outfits 3 times?  The other night she asked me what she should wear to go to her cousin's play -- and that was 2 days away!

*Sob*

Of course when I questioned her about this she then said "I just want to look pretty like you always do."  So my baby who loves me, and thinks of me as "pretty mommy" is still in there.  I just hope "cool" Zoe doesn't eat her all up.

Before I conclude, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to my own mother for all the grief I may have given her over clothes to buy or outfits that needed changing.  I don't recall it, but if I was like this, I'm so sorry.  This might also explain why my mother has all the patience in the world for Zoe's outfit picking/changing -- she (perhaps) had a lot of practice!

Sketchbook

I've had many, many sketchbooks in my life.  For some time I fancied myself some kind of artist or designer.  I even started a graduate program in stage design (costumes specifically).  When I quit that grad program for a variety of reasons I pretty much quit on art and design as well.  I continued to like art and design, but I stopped producing any myself.

Over the years I've had different fantasies about getting a new drafting table to work on, about different types of projects I'd like to try and even the feeling of spending time creating.  I haven't actually done much of anything in the past 18 years though.

I don't know if I'm any good or if I just like doing it, but I feel like it is finally time I got back to doing something.  I've decided to start small with a really small sketchbook and a couple of pencils -- one hard, and one soft.  I'd like to say I'd spend time on one sketch a day, but given my current schedule I think that would be setting myself up for failure so I am going to try for one sketch a week.  I'm even going to post the sketch here and that will be doubly good.

The first sketch I'm posting is actually from this past summer.  It is an idea I had to paint on our back fence.    I had hoped to translate it into actual paint on the fence, but my ridiculous health issues and a new job got in the way so I put it on hold.  However, I am really going to try to get it done this summer as I think it will look really cool.  I plan to sketch it a few more times with some actual fence so it will be more clear on how it lays out, but this is my first draft.

I know it doesn't look like much, but I am a little rusty. More next week.

Watching TV

I simply cannot stand kid's television. I don't know what it is and I never thought I'd be this way, but when Zoe is watching her shows (see: iCarly, MadTV, Victorious, etc.) I am literally repelled from the room. Sitting down to watch TV together is something we rarely do.

Both my mother and Rob seem to have a much greater tolerance than I do. They can actually sit in the room. They might be reading or something else, but I can't even think when faced with those shows.

In a way, it's good. I do a lot of reading, writing or other things that need doing while Zoe watches TV. Also I am always sure Zoe goes to bed on time because I can't wait for her TV time to be over.

As a result of this I have often felt like I don't get to watch anything I want to watch. Like it is off limits to me. That's probably not entirely true, but that's how it feels. So finally a few weeks ago when my birthday was approaching I decided that what I wanted was my own TV.

I have to say it was one of the best self-indulgent things I've done. I haven't spent much more time watching tv than I did before, but now when I do, it is almost like a spa treatment. I get into bed and watch what I want watch when I want to watch it. (Then I usually fall asleep about 10 minutes later.)

It's the little things.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday Shoesday: New Kicks for Zoe

The other day Zoe said to me, "Mom, a bunch of kids at school have these sneakers I really like."  Then she paused and said quite sheepishly, "Can I get a pair?"  As if she was afraid to ask.  She should know that I recognize the importance of the right pair of shoes.  I was a little disappointed in her at that moment, but I got over it and I said of course she could have the cool sneakers.

But first she had to find out who made them and where to get them.  The next day she came home and reported they were made by Reebok, called Zigtech and were available at the mall.  They look like this:

The next weekend we headed to the mall and went to Kid's Foot Locker.  They had the sneakers, but not the color Zoe wanted.  We tried a few other places, but she was unwilling to settle.

That night when we got home I looked online and discovered that Reebok let's you customize this kind of sneaker.  The possibilities and design combinations were endless.  I was so excited to show this to Zoe since then she could pick out exactly what she wanted.  She eagerly sat down at the computer and started designing her perfect shoe.

About an hour later she gave up in frustration.  She could not figure out what she wanted.  I tried to help, but I just wasn't helpful as is often the case with Mom and clothes.  I even suggested she try Nike's version of customized shoes.  That was equally frustrating.  Finally, Zoe could take no more and declared that she no longer wanted sneakers and that we were to just forget it.  It was a shame, because there are some great, creative possibilities with being able to design your own, but I guess ultimately, there were just too many choices.

The next morning I happened to get an email from J Crew advertising some stuff from their kids' line and the email included a really cute, classic pair of Adidas sneakers for kids.  They just screamed Zoe to me.  I showed them to her and she fell in love instantly.  We are now anxiously awaiting the arrival of these:

In the end I have to say I am proud that Zoe recognized the importance of not only cool, but classic.

Football Birthday

Last weekend I celebrated my 41st birthday. After last year's 40th fete, I didn't want much hoopla, just a quiet day with my family and some good cake.  It happened that the Giants' playoff game fell right on my birthday so I invited my family over for a football birthday party.  Not a typical birthday celebration for me, but in recent years I've gone from a half-hearted football fan to a full on fan so it seemed like a fun way to spend the afternoon.  As it turned out the game was super-exciting and ended in a win for the Giants so my birthday was complete.  The cake was delicious too, which really sealed it.

Rob, being the kind of guy he is, found this birthday card that he helped along to perfection:

Zoe Bryant?

Mom bragging alert!

Highlight from Zoe's 2nd ever basketball game. I can't quite explain it, but watching these basketball games is so much fun! I have a smile on my face the entire time. Hopefully these 30 seconds will make you smile too.

Feats of Motherhood

Yesterday I was in an all day meeting with a vendor we are doing a lot of work with.  The meeting was largely focussed on alleviating the various areas of dissatisfaction on our part, as the client.  It wasn't a relaxed day and it certainly wasn't easy for either us or them.  That being said we did get through the day and reached what I hope will be accord.

When we were wrapping up around 7pm the woman who was leading things from the vendor side, who was the picture of confidence, intelligence and diligence all day, said she was going home to crash because she had been up all night with her daughter who had croup.  Not only had she been up all night, she had been at the emergency room all night.  Honestly, I never would have guessed.  I can only imagine how completely shattered she felt, but she never let it slip during the course of our very long day.

This morning as I was juggling an 8am webex/conference call  and getting Zoe up, ready for school, and out to the bus stop (hardly comparable to a night spent in the ER) I was reminded of her and all of the times I have simultaneously juggled motherhood and work.  Good to be reminded that I am far from alone in this juggling act.

This was my view leaving Brooklyn last night after my all day meeting.