Getting Old

I do agree with the idea that age is more a state of mind and I personally feel "young" for the most part.  However, since I've turned 40 I've noticed some things about getting older that make me feel, for lack of a better word, old.

• Muscles get sore that never got sore before -- muscles I don't think I ever knew I had
• Taking Advil (or similar) becomes a much more regular thing
• Hair color goes from a nice to have to a must have
• It takes more than an extra cup of coffee to make up for one late night
• The 5 pounds you put on over a week's vacation, don't just disappear a week or two after you return from vacation
• The amount of stuff you don't know seems to grow
• People in their twenties now really do seem like they come from a different generation and, frankly, I think of them as kids
• I sometimes have to question if a skirt or a pair of shorts are too short
• I sometimes have to question if an item of clothing or accessory is too trendy or "young"
• I often have to choose between skin care that fights wrinkles and skin care that fights pimples
• Kids' movies make me fall asleep
• Kids' TV shows drive me away from the TV
• I frequently ask Zoe to turn down the volume

Since I'm still about 30 years away from being able to take Social Security I think I'll have to work more on the list of the ways I feel young.  

The Cosmetics Counter: Surf Spray

Since I have rather short hair I don't use much in the way of hair products.  My hair usually requires very little in the way of styling and I tend to not go in for expensive shampoos, conditioners or other styling products.  However, last time I got my haircut my hair dresser used a new product (or at least new to me) called "Surf Spray" on my hair and the results were really great so I decided to go ahead and buy it.

When I first got home with it I felt like I had probably blown $25 since everyone knows there is some kind of magic that happens to your hair in the hair salon that can never be re-created at home.  I am happy to report that I was completely pleasantly surprised.  This stuff magically adds thickness and texture.  I spray it on and then just rub my hair while drying it.  What could be easier?  I thought maybe it only worked in short hair, but a few weeks ago Zoe let me try it on her longer hair and it also had great results.

So, if you're looking for something to give your hair texture (not smooth, sleek, straight) give it a try.  It is supposed to be the texture you get after a day at the beach.  Not sure that is exactly true, but it is still pretty cool stuff.

Tea at the Plaza

Last week was a pretty terrific week.  The school year ended, I hosted a successful party/book swap with my reading friends, the always lovely Emily came for a visit, I waived to Barack Obama, I rode in one of the new MetroNorth train cars, and, best of all, I was taken for tea at the Plaza.  Really everything that comes before on this list pales in comparison because tea at the Plaza is a truly special event.

Going to tea at the Plaza is not something I would have thought of doing, but the aforementioned lovely Emily gave me this wonderful experience as my 40th birthday present.  We arrived in New York City in the late morning and did a bit of this and that including some fabulous window shopping at Tiffany's and Henri Bendel.  Before we knew it it was almost our reservation time so we made our way up 5th Ave to The Plaza.

I'd never been inside the Plaza before and the lobby did not disappoint.  We were seated immediately and we ooh'd and ah'd over the menu, the setting, the lovely piano music playing softly in the background.  And after a somewhat hilarious search for the restrooms, we relaxed into what is basically a spa-like experience that involves food and tea instead of facials or massage.

Of course I made good use of my iPhone to document the experience so here are some pictures:

The tea service including champagne. 

Close up of the most delicious cucumber sandwich.

The Lovely Emily and her champagne.

The portrait of Eloise that hangs in the hallway off the lobby.

It truly was a magical experience that I will never forget.  When we left The Plaza I felt like I was returning to Earth after having been in some magical place.  I highly recommend the experience as a special treat or to celebrate a special occasion.

Thank you again Emily!

Tuesday Shoesday: The Purse Edition

My failure to find inspiring shoe designs has led me to two related conclusions.

1. I need to do more than just shop online

2. I need to find new shopping sites/stores

As a result of my desire to branch out I've spent a fair amount of time online looking at Etsy.com and some other similar sites. I'm sure it is not news to say that Etsy is a great site. There are some really interesting things to be found on that site -- certainly from the sublime to the ridiculous and most certainly in overwhelming quantity.  I decided to narrow my exploration to an area I love almost as much as shoes.  Purses, of course!

There are about a million great bags, but I picked out a few I really liked. They are all fairly affordable especially compared to a Coach bag or Kate Spade despite the fact that they are some of the more expensive bags to be found on the site.

Stripe Handbag with leather detail

If I were in need or particular want (since "need" rarely is a factor with purses) of a a new tote this one would be high on my list.  The details and colors are modern and casual, but at the same time the bag looks like it would work for a lot of occasions.

Tan Leather Clutch with Birds and Sunglasses

This bag is all about the details. How great is that lining? Click the link to see how gorgeous it is closed up too. If this were a "designer" bag I am sure it would sell for at least $250.00 or more.

Handmade Framed Clutch

This is a gorgeous evening bag.  I already have a couple of dresses this would work with.  Now I just wish I had somewhere to go!

Next time I think I'll look at jewelry.  

Father's Day Poem

This was Zoe's gift to Rob for Father's Day:

Transcript/Translation:

My Dad

my dad is blue
he smells like yellow cake
with [chocolate] frosting
he looks like green beach
glass
he sounds like [his] goofy
laugh after I say
the word [guinea] (gin-e)
horns
he feels [like] the warm and
tight hug he gave me
when it was the first day
of [kindergarten] as I got
on bus 14
he taste[s] like Barbecued
steak and [whoopie] pies
my dad make[s] me [feel] [confident]



I think I may just have to have this framed.

Tuesday Shoesday: Complete Lack of Inspiration

I've been wanting to do a Tuesday Shoesday post for a couple of weeks now and the fact is I can't find any shoes to get excited about.  I am completely sick and bored of strappy, wedges, gladiator style, impossible architectural styles, espadrilles, cork and ankle wrapping.  The only relief is in the classics and even there, I can find no real joy.

I am just going to come out and declare that this is the summer of bad shoes.

I would never say this for any other reason, but I am looking forward to what fall will bring.

The Corrections

I can't believe it, but  I actually finished all 576 pages of The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen.  It took me 21 days to get through it and there were many points where I felt like giving up.  And now I am just trying to make sense of what I read.

When I declared yesterday that I had  finished the book my mother asked me if I liked it and I couldn't really answer the question.  After a rather slow start it did become compelling reading.  There is no question that the writing is excellent and that Mr. Franzen is quite gifted.  There were sections that I could not put down.  One morning Zoe almost missed her bus because I was too engrossed in reading to notice the time.  From that it sounds like I really liked it, but the big problem I'm having is that I pretty much despised all of the characters and had only fleeting sympathy or empathy for them.

The novel is a story of an American family, but possibly the worst American family ever.  I mean, there's no incest or physical abuse, but the psychological dysfunction, the dishonesty, and the complete lack of warmth and compassion was just harrowing and disgusting.  We all do or have done some colossally stupid and self-destructive things in our lives, but typically (or hopefully) these moments are limited and we live through them. The characters in this book are all like the darkest story in your family history.  Am I so naive to think most people and most families are not really like this?  Yes, families struggle, but do family members really treat each other this way?  Yes, no one can hurt your feelings like your family can but do they feel the same hatred and loathing for each other?  I don't know, but I hope not.

I am left utterly confused by the point of this epic story.  In the end hasn't this family basically sacrificed one of its members and laid all the blame for everything that has gone wrong at his feet so that they can move on with their lives?  Mr. Franzen names the town they are from St. Jude and, of course, St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes.  It seems to me they are all lost causes wether they pick themselves up and move on or not.  Partly I was left feeling afraid that some day Zoe would drop me off in a nursing home and be glad to be rid of me.  And partly I was left feeling grateful that my family is more honest and loving than this one.

I still can't tell you if I liked the book.  As an antidote I am now reading Names My Sisters Call Me by Megan Crane which I stole from the shelves of Becky when there was nothing she could do about it.  [Cue evil laughter]

Anyone else out there read The Corrections who can help me out with some insight?

Ten Things I Can't Do Without

Trolling around the internet this evening, I got this idea here and I really liked it so here goes: (Zoe and the internet just have to go without saying.)

1. Chapstick.

Yes, it probably is addictive, but I don't care because I love it and use it multiple times per day and I'm not sorry.

2. Coffee.  Duh.

3.  My iPhone.  I rarely go anywhere without it.  I love it more than any gadget I have ever had and I have had a lot of gadgets and given them a lot of love.

4.  Clinique All About Eyes concealer.  Without it I would be frequently mistaken for a raccoon.


5. Email.  Sad, but true fact is I would have no friends if it weren't for email.  I am simply horrible at picking up the phone to talk.  I am just not good at chatting, but if you email me, I will email you back.

6. Reading.  What else would I even do with that time?  I have no idea.  (Notice I didn't say books.  I am all about eBooks and e-reading at last.)

7. Ice Cream.  Yes, I love candy, but my most favorite treat is ice cream.  I would give up candy for ice cream almost every time.

8.  The Gym.  I should hope so given my love of ice cream and candy, but also I am just plain addicted to working out.  I would not make it through the week without the stress release that a good workout can be.  I go to the gym or the Pilates studio 5 to 6 times per week, no fooling.

9.  Sirius Satellite Radio.  Or as I like to call it, crack-radio.  I've had Sirius in my car for the past 7 years and I really can't imagine how I would go back to listening to the regular radio ever again.  Forget CDs or iPods too.  Sirius is the only way to travel.  Plus, since starting to work from home, I also can listen while I work via their website.  It's just awesome listening and I have discovered so much great music because  of it.


10.  Rob.  Maybe I should have listed him with the obvious, but just in case, you should all know that, crazy as he is, he really helps me stay sane.  I couldn't love him more.

Mystic (no pizza)

With softball, all of Zoe's other activities, work, and family stuff life has been pretty busy lately so we decided to declare what we like to call "family day" this past Sunday.  This is when Rob, Zoe, and I spend an entire day together doing something fun.  We chose a visit to Mystic Seaport for our "family day" adventure.  Zoe is still into Moby Dick and Mystic Seaport seemed like a good way to bring a bit of the story to life.

We were fortunate enough to have no traffic and pretty good weather.  It was a fun day walking around and seeing the re-enacters and getting to walk on board the tall ships.  The re-created Amistad is especially powerful to see.

When you go to amusement parks and zoos and the like they often have those murals or just animals that are made with face-sized cutouts expressly designed for pictures.  At Mystic Seaport they had one of the best of these I've ever seen.  I think Zoe and Rob really bring it to life here:

Sadly we did not get to Mystic Pizza for dinner, but we did stop in at the shops at Old Mistick Village and got our requisite fudge and other trinkets before heading back home.  All-in-all it was a great family day.

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

You know how when you're a smug twenty-something you are sure you'll never do or say certain things as a parent?  Yeah, me too.  Until I had my own kid, of course.

I didn't actually say it, but I really wanted to say it.  It is one of the worst Mom lines there is.  It is the one that always made me cry harder and feel more miserable.  The one that made it crystal clear that you did not have an ally in Mom.  Can you guess?

Zoe was crying over some minor injury which I felt was mostly imagined and then as my mother was trying to soothe her she started searching for more things to be upset about.  It is a special talent of Zoe's to find things to cry about.  Since I was already annoyed with the first reason she was crying the adding on was really getting to me.

And that's when it happened.  The words formed in my head and were on their way out of my mouth.  It was a miracle that I was able to stop myself from saying...

If you don't stop crying, I will give you something to cry about.

Week in Review by Memolane

I love Memolane! It creates these great timelines of all your online activity. Here's my timeline for this week:



Be sure to scroll left and right using the arrows at the top.

My Slugger

Those of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook already know that Zoe is playing softball this year.  It is her first year and she is in the "A" Division which is for the youngest girls.  She is actually oldest among the youngest, but that is a whole birthdate thing that probably works in her favor. (If you've read Malcolm Gladwell's The Outliers, you know what I mean.)

Zoe never really expressed an interest in softball, but I really thought she should try a team sport and I don't know why, but I thought she would be good at softball as well as really enjoy it.  Happily I have been right on both counts (so far, of course).

Turns out this has also been good for me.  In some moment of weakness or maybe it was something else, I volunteered to be the team manager.  I don't know the first thing about softball, but Zoe's team had no manager and since managing is definitely in my skill-set I agreed (a little begrudgingly, I must admit).  I have never really been a big volunteer at school or other kid-related activities.  Its just not my thing.  So label me surprised because I have to say it has actually been, well, fun.  I've made some new friends in the team coaches and parents and feel like I am part of a new community plus I feel like I am helping to make the experience special for Zoe since it is our thing together now.

I'm really proud of how Zoe has done on the team so far.  I enjoy the fact that it really is about learning the game for the girls at this age so the competitive factor is low.  I was told at my first managers meeting that the goal of A Division is to get the girls to want to come back and play again next year.  I think our team, The Purple Bulldogs, is doing a good job working toward that goal.  Overall, despite the fact that it has given both Zoe and I very busy schedules this spring, softball has been a great addition to our lives.

All this has really been so I can post this photo:

The Brown T-Shirt

Did you ever get it into your head that you had to have something in order to make your wardrobe complete?  Perhaps it is a particular pair of shoes or dress, but it is something and there are exact details in your head about what it has to be.

Last fall I fel that way about gold ballet flats.  I had a mental image of what I wanted, but I had to do a fair amount of research and shopping in order to find a pair that lived up to my mental image. After and exhaustive several mall, many website search I finally found them at the Cole-Haan outlet I did feel temporarily as though my wardrobe was complete.

Now it is a brown t-shirt.  Not just any old brown t-shirt, but a nice brown t-shirt, what I like to call a "dressy t-shirt."  Not a grey t-shirt, not a beige t-shirt, but a brown t-shirt.  The added complication is that it has to come in petite sizes.  I am short and regular t-shirts are usually way too long.  Unfortunately brown is not a big color for spring and early summer clothes.  At least not from what I've seen in stores.  I've seen a few options that almost qualify such as:

from Ann Taylor Loft

And this one:

from Eddie Bauer

But I'm still not in love.  Not crazy about the beige-ness of the shirt form Ann Taylor Loft even though I do like the design.  I like the color of the Eddie Bauer shirt, but I'n not crazy about the detail around the buttons.  Last night I went so far as to order these two t-shirts from Old Navy because I had a 20% off coupon and their petite sizes fit me well.

But I am not convinced either of these will be the t-shirt I am after. Anyone have any suggestions? I am willing to spend a little more than I usually would to fulfill this clear wardrobe need.

The Ennui

How do you know when it is time to move on?  (No, not from Rob.  He may not be perfect, but I sure do love him.)

I may never have used or thought of the word "ennui" correctly until now.  That really seems to sum up how I have been feeling about work lately.  I don't want to go into a whole long list of details about why I am feeling this way because you never know who's reading this (my biggest fear being boring to tears anyone reading this), but it is becoming increasingly clear that I need to think about making a change.  And, of course, what is the only thing worse than being dissatisfied?  Change!

Here's the thing...I work from home.  There are pros and cons to working from home, but certainly some of the biggest pros have to do with Zoe.  I am always here for her before and after school.  I can pick her up when she is sick, I can help her with her homework, I can take her to after school activities, and I never have to worry about picking her up from after in time.  In other words, I get to have the best of both worlds  for a working mom and a stay-at-home mom.  If I have to go back to commuting to an office that will all have to change and that is the biggest thing holding me back from seriously pursuing a new job.

I've updated my resume.  I've updated my LinkedIn profile.  I've asked for recommendations.  I've perused many job postings.  I've tweaked my resume and my profile.  I think I'm technically ready to start putting myself out there.  Now I just have to get mentally ready.  (And I'll have to get wardrobe ready too, naturally.)

The thing about Mother's Day

The thing about Mother's Day is that you have to figure out how to celebrate all the Moms in your life and realistically that is not always possible.  When you are like me and have a mother of my own and a mother-in-law both nearby things can get complicated.  Very often, dare I say almost every time, Mother's Day is never about me.  It is about my Mom or Rob's Mom.  Sometimes it is about Aunts and sisters-in-law too.  Don't get me wrong, I am pleased to celebrate all the mothers in our life, but there's only so much time in one weekend and when you're in a situation like mine, you don't usually end up getting to do something for yourself.

I know I am not alone in this situation therefore I really think there needs to be one set strategy or hierarchy for dealing with this.  Perhaps each family needs to set their own and maybe it should be decided when you get married?  I don't know how it would work though.  When I even start trying to think about it my head hurts.  Every year we hit the same problem:  too many mothers and not enough time.

I know I should be grateful that I have my mother, my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law and my daughter who all want to celebrate Mother's day with me and I am.  And I am very grateful and consider myself lucky.  I know a time will come around when my mother and my mother-in-law won't be around just as I know a time will come when Zoe wishes me "Happy Mother's Day" via text message from wherever life has taken her.

Perhaps the problem is really with the holiday itself?  Do we really need Mother's Day?  I mean we all know it is a Hallmark invented occasion  that is fully supported by the florists and jewelry stores, so why do we invest so much into it?  I really don't know.  I guess we're suckers for marketing.

All I do know is that almost every year on Mother's Day (since I became a mother, of course) I end up feeling like all I did was run around to please others which leaves me feeling simultaneously taken for granted and selfish and that just seems completely counterintuitive to the spirit of the day

Kids love lists

I used to think it was only Zoe who liked to make lists of everything from her favorite colors to places she'd like to visit to potential band names, but it turns out my niece, Sophia, is also quite the list maker.  We had the pleasure of having her as a sleepover guest last week and prior to her visit, she made this list of things she wanted to do while staying with us.

Unfortunately the actual list got wet when a cup of water was spilled on it in the night, but here is an annotated transcript:

1. See Rio [the movie -- lucky for Sophia and Zoe Grandma was in charge of most of the activities so they even got to see it in 3D]
2. Order Govie's Pizza [Actually it is Giove's and for reasons that remain a mystery to me and despite the plethora of really good pizza places in our area, it is a favorite with kids.  They deliver so that was dinner.]
3. Play puppies [I can't say for sure if this took place, but it is checked off on the list so I guess it did.]
4. Acrobat show [We opted to skip this one.  I wanted to return Sophia to my brother and sister-in-law in one piece.]
5. Talk [Oh, there was no lack of talking with a 7 and a 9 year old.]
6. read Books [Now this is one I can really support.  Both Zoe and Sophia are voracious readers.]
7. take a bath [Nah, they weren't that dirty]
8. go get our nails done [Again lucky for the girls that Grandma was in charge.  Sophia got pink nails, and Zoe got highlighter green.]
9. draw [Again, I have no proof, but it is checked off]
10. watch a movie [Not including Rio, I guess.  They did watch the available for free on Netflix streaming Imagine That starring none other than Eddie Murphy.  I'm not sure, but I think Zoe and Sophia could have made up a better movie on their own with 2 hours and a video camera, but they really enjoyed it so what do I know?]
11. ride scooter [They did, in fact, ride scooters, but only for 10 minutes.  Maybe less.]

All-in-all I'd say it was a pretty successful sleepover according to Sophia's list.  

Tuesday Shoesday: Espadrilles

When the going gets tough, the tough go shoe shopping.  Things got kind of tough last week so ...

Now that the weather has finally turned warm I am ready to think seriously about warm weather footwear.  As opposed to sandals I have been drawn to the flat espadrilles I've been seeing around (not the skyscraping wedge variety).

Here are some that I like:

Franco Sarto

Kate Spade

Michael Kors

Steven

The nice thing is that all of these are relatively affordable.  I guess since they are primarily constructed from canvas and rope, that makes sense.  That and they probably don't last more than one summer.  

Naturally my favorites are the Kate Spade pair although I'd like to try on the Stevens to see how those stay on your feet.  

Questions for 3pm on a Monday

• When can I take a sick day that's really what I like to call a "sick of work" day?  This entails much calendar analysis.
• What should I read next?  I very often finish a book or come close to finishing a book on the weekends.  Right now I am trying to convince myself not to buy a new book for my Nook, but to read one of the books I have stacked on my shelf or by my bed that are unread.  
• What should I make for dinner?  As often as not this is the first time I've thought about it for the day which means I probably haven't defrosted any meat.  The other times, like today, I've usually taken out chicken breast so it is a matter of what chicken recipe to use.  Nothing too ambitious, I am sure.
• What activities does Zoe have this week?  I must check my meeting calendar against my taxi calendar.
• What's the deal with tumblr.com?  Who uses it and what's good about it and/or better than my Google reader?  I'm not sure I get it and I'm sure I don't like that I don't really get it.
• Why isn't there a shopping site (like Land's End or Piperlime or Sephora) that would give me stuff for free if I would blog about it?  I really would blog about it.  
• Is there anything worth watching on TV tonight?  Mondays so often are the worst night for TV shows, but it is also the night I most want to zone out in front of the TV.  
• What can I have for a snack?  I want something filling, but not too caloric or sugary.  
• How much Diet Coke really is too much?  Because I think it is Diet Coke or nap right about now.
• Is this list of questions long enough for a decent blog post?  I hope so because I can't think of anything else I am pondering this Monday.  

So Beautiful or So What

I'm a music fan, of course, but I am a Paul Simon devotee.  I am pretty sure my father played Simon and Garfunkle records for me while I was in utero.  There isn't a time I can recall that listening to the music of Paul Simon (or Simon and Garfunkle) wasn't completely appropriate.  His music is probably the soundtrack of my life and I have a million memories wrapped up in so many of his songs.

I don't know how many albums (or whatever they are called these days -- releases?) he's had and I certainly don't have them all, but this week he came out with a new one, So Beautiful or So What, and I have to say it is seriously fabulous.  Possibly the best complete album I've heard in a very long time.  The single that was released a few weeks ago, The Afterlife, has been playing in my head since I first heard it.  It's rare that I feel so strongly about music that I feel the need to write about it, but for some reason, in this case I really do feel the need.  Probably because one of the things I love about Paul Simon's music is the poetry of the lyrics and this album is chock full of poetry.  (What is a song without the lyrics, anyway?  Don't actually answer that.)  Here's an awesome excerpt from The Afterlife:

Buddha and Moses and all the noses
From narrow to flat
Had to stand in the line
Just to glimpse the divine
What’cha think about that?

You can find all the lyrics along with all the lyrics to all Paul Simon songs here:  http://www.paulsimon.com/music/so-beautiful-or-so-what/afterlife 

And if you're interested in previewing the album before purchase, the whole thing is on constant streaming here:  http://www.paulsimon.com/news/so-beautiful-or-so-what-online-listening-party

Blog-iversary

6 years of ZoesMom!  I can't believe I've been blogging for so long.  Thanks to everyone who's reading!

For fun, here's where it all started:  http://zoesmom.blogspot.com/2005/04/new-job-day-1.html